Well, I seldom to post something personal here except for this time. I was quite emotional recently due to certain reason. Don't know why and don't know how should I explain all of these because I can't even make thing clear in my mind.
After so many years of being single, I am already used to be alone and thanks to that, sometime I found that being alone can be quite good such as you don't need to wait for anyone and follow anyone. I can do whatever I like and I want in your life. Because it is all mine.
Sometime I found that I am actually quite fortunate to be a single because something happened on my friend recently let me realise something, it is not easy to maintain a relationship. At least I believe so....
Hope everything will be alright, my bro. If you saw this post, I hope that you will understand who I mentioned.
Single isn't bad. But sometime when you see the people around you is in paired. How sweet is that. It tells you that being single is not perfect because no matter how strong you are, you need someone that you can tell her everything, not need to act or pretend anything when you are in front of her and someone can listen all my complains of what I dislike.
Maybe that sounds too simple but for me, it is maybe the hardest in my life. How to get such a person that can understand you so well. I have really no idea how....
I was trying to get into relationship before. Thanks to my buddy. They are really concern about me but sorry I did let them down. Thing was just can't work out.
I am afraid that I am just getting too desperately. I really do....
Recently I was chatting with someone that we knew each other quite long time ago. She is good, clever(she claimed herself as a clever girl), outgoing and considerate. I don't want to mess up her life so I won't give too much details about her.
I thought that was just simply chatting like chatting with an old friend. I think we both were really thinking that way. She is still single now and she is 'shopping' for her target. That was actually very simple.
But something weird happened on the night. I was having a weird dream. A really long dream.
In the dream, I can't remember where it started. I was getting married with her in overseas. After we complete the wedding, we came back to our home but thing was just not going so smoothly. My parents were disagree with my decision because both of us were still young and due to other reasons I had no choice need to leave her alone. She was very sad and decided to go somewhere to seek for her future. I was trying to get her back and I did meet her somewhere. She rejected me and I was crying like hell. We were been apart for many years later, we met again somewhere but we didn't be together in the end.
How does the dream sound to you? Dramatic isn't it? At least to me it was very dramatic.
But the thing is every part of the dream did affect my feeling. Although it was a dream but I can feel the feeling. It was so real. Maybe I am just thinking too much... I am not sure what is happened on me.
But I know at least the dream was telling me that my effort was been wasted because I spent so many years to learn how to let it go and I thought I did but actually I didn't....
Maybe for those who understand me and know what I had been through for these few years, they will know who am I talking about. No matter you know who is she or not, what I want is nothing much. I am just seeking for advice. I have no idea what should I do next. Should I get back to her? or should I just move forward?
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